Faith, Forgiveness and Fun
In the middle of the seventh paragraph of The Family: A Proclamation to the World, it states, "Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities."
The first principle on that list is faith. Our family put that principle into action each week as we drove over one hundred miles round trip twice a week to church for Sunday worship and Wednesday evening activities. One hour each way in good weather and in Minnesota Fall, Spring and Winter too....when church wasn't canceled. We have been doing this for nearly ten years, often in vehicles that we were having faith in to make the trip there and back! When Madison went off to college at a non-church school instead of following Miranda and Danelle to BYU, one big check in the plus column for her was that the college was in a town that had a church building within walking distance of campus. "In Lectures on Faith, Joseph Smith defined faith not only belief but as "the principle of action in all intelligent beings".(Marks, Dollahite, Freeman, chapter 18 p. 185- 1835/1985, p.6) Being faithful in our church attendance and in holding callings when it isn't easy or convenient is a way to put our faith into action.
Another principle that leads to successful marriages and families is forgiveness. This is one that is a work in progress for us, but I think we are good at practicing apologizing and repenting when we make mistakes or hurt each other. "Repentance and forgiveness are two sides of the same coin and are frequently addressed together." (Walton and Hendricks chapter 20 p. 201) Being able to easily forgive has benefits for the person that has been wronged. "Likeliness to forgive was associated with the victim's agreeableness, emotional empathy, extroversion, interdependence, dutifulness, conscientiousness, and religiousness." (Walton and Hendricks chapter 20 p. 202) A recent development for a few of our family members is therapy. Several of us are now in counseling and will be able to work through forgiveness issues and letting go if we choose to do that. There are many talks, articles and books on the topics of repentance and forgiveness that can help if you are needing to work through either of these issues. A quick search of either keyword: forgiveness or repentance in the Gospel Library App brings up thousands of results and can be further narrowed by source. Both topics are worthy of research and reflection as we continue along our path of successful marriage and family.
The last principle mentioned in establishing and maintaining successful marriages and families is wholesome recreational activities......or having fun together. I just talked to Miranda on the phone. She had a nightmare last night that we had all gone to a water park together and we were trying to make her engage and have fun while she resisted participating. That sounds about right. Sometimes in family life not everyone is going to want to do the fun things we have planned. Sometimes a family bike ride ends with Miranda on the sidewalk or the side of the trail. Sometimes a family card game has forced participants. "The components to wholesome recreation include opportunities to verbally communicate , develop skills, face challenges, create memories, share traditions and beliefs, and spend time together in the family setting." (Widmer and Taniguchi, chapter 22 p. 233)
Some of our more memorable times include Family Home Evening games that took a rowdy turn (Poor Kitty, anyone?), Joshua Day balloon releases, cooking together, camping, board games, hikes, walks and bike rides, vacations to Chicago, California, Florida, the cities, water parks, amusement parks, museums, family lake days, backyard bonfires, service projects, pogo sticking in the driveway, reading out loud and lots and lots of movie nights with pizza and popcorn. My favorite thing is just being together. We like to listen to music, sing, laugh, look at funny memes, share funny stories and just be together and have a good time. Having Matthew in our family has made all of our family together times more fun. This summer we went camping and in Gooseberry Falls State Park. His sense of adventure and optimism makes him easy to be around and he made the best camp food for us all to enjoy!
I love my family and love that I have learned how to grow with and enjoy my family and have a good time together by following the principles that I have learned in The Family: A Proclamation to the World.
Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives Edited by Alan J Hawkins, David C. Dollahite, Thomas W. Draper (2016)
The first principle on that list is faith. Our family put that principle into action each week as we drove over one hundred miles round trip twice a week to church for Sunday worship and Wednesday evening activities. One hour each way in good weather and in Minnesota Fall, Spring and Winter too....when church wasn't canceled. We have been doing this for nearly ten years, often in vehicles that we were having faith in to make the trip there and back! When Madison went off to college at a non-church school instead of following Miranda and Danelle to BYU, one big check in the plus column for her was that the college was in a town that had a church building within walking distance of campus. "In Lectures on Faith, Joseph Smith defined faith not only belief but as "the principle of action in all intelligent beings".(Marks, Dollahite, Freeman, chapter 18 p. 185- 1835/1985, p.6) Being faithful in our church attendance and in holding callings when it isn't easy or convenient is a way to put our faith into action.
Another principle that leads to successful marriages and families is forgiveness. This is one that is a work in progress for us, but I think we are good at practicing apologizing and repenting when we make mistakes or hurt each other. "Repentance and forgiveness are two sides of the same coin and are frequently addressed together." (Walton and Hendricks chapter 20 p. 201) Being able to easily forgive has benefits for the person that has been wronged. "Likeliness to forgive was associated with the victim's agreeableness, emotional empathy, extroversion, interdependence, dutifulness, conscientiousness, and religiousness." (Walton and Hendricks chapter 20 p. 202) A recent development for a few of our family members is therapy. Several of us are now in counseling and will be able to work through forgiveness issues and letting go if we choose to do that. There are many talks, articles and books on the topics of repentance and forgiveness that can help if you are needing to work through either of these issues. A quick search of either keyword: forgiveness or repentance in the Gospel Library App brings up thousands of results and can be further narrowed by source. Both topics are worthy of research and reflection as we continue along our path of successful marriage and family.
The last principle mentioned in establishing and maintaining successful marriages and families is wholesome recreational activities......or having fun together. I just talked to Miranda on the phone. She had a nightmare last night that we had all gone to a water park together and we were trying to make her engage and have fun while she resisted participating. That sounds about right. Sometimes in family life not everyone is going to want to do the fun things we have planned. Sometimes a family bike ride ends with Miranda on the sidewalk or the side of the trail. Sometimes a family card game has forced participants. "The components to wholesome recreation include opportunities to verbally communicate , develop skills, face challenges, create memories, share traditions and beliefs, and spend time together in the family setting." (Widmer and Taniguchi, chapter 22 p. 233)
Some of our more memorable times include Family Home Evening games that took a rowdy turn (Poor Kitty, anyone?), Joshua Day balloon releases, cooking together, camping, board games, hikes, walks and bike rides, vacations to Chicago, California, Florida, the cities, water parks, amusement parks, museums, family lake days, backyard bonfires, service projects, pogo sticking in the driveway, reading out loud and lots and lots of movie nights with pizza and popcorn. My favorite thing is just being together. We like to listen to music, sing, laugh, look at funny memes, share funny stories and just be together and have a good time. Having Matthew in our family has made all of our family together times more fun. This summer we went camping and in Gooseberry Falls State Park. His sense of adventure and optimism makes him easy to be around and he made the best camp food for us all to enjoy!
I love my family and love that I have learned how to grow with and enjoy my family and have a good time together by following the principles that I have learned in The Family: A Proclamation to the World.
References
THE FAMILY: A PROCLAMATION TO THE WORLD, THE FIRST PRESIDENCY AND COUNCIL OF THE TWELVE APOSTLES OF THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS
Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives Edited by Alan J Hawkins, David C. Dollahite, Thomas W. Draper (2016)
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